Before my wisdom teeth were taken from me, I always wondered why they were named wisdom teeth. I finally discovered the truth: Right after they are removed, most of the words that exit the mouth are not so wise.
We’ve all seen the videos of people making complete fools of themselves, some thinking the gauze in their mouth is actually their tongue falling out, some thinking they’ve been kidnapped, and others that just WON’T STOP TALKING!
I would not stop talking.
The dentist specifically told my father “make sure she doesn’t talk, we want the clots to form.” (whatever that means…) but I didn’t want to listen.
The car ride home went a little like this:
Me: Daddy I need to tell you something
Dad: Faith, don’t talk, I promise you don’t want dry socket!
Me: Oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot. I won’t talk anymore I’m so sorry
Dad: Faith it’s okay just stop talking
Me: Okay I’m sorry please forgive me I won’t talk anymore
Dad: It’s okay, stop responding to me
Me: Okay I’ll stop responding to you
Me: Okay I’m sorry I won’t talk
Yeah… that went on forever…
Then, when we got back home, I sneakily waited for my dad to go to the bathroom to begin filming videos of myself to send to my friends.
In a hushed tone, I said “Hey, my dad won’t let me talk right now but I just wanted to say hi and that I love y’all so much…” proceeding with a couple tears and me telling my basketball player friends that I could dunk way better than them (a lie.
While my constant rambling wasn’t bothering me, I’m sure family and close friends tell a different story. What did bother me, though, was the food limitations!
I was SICK of mashed potatoes! And dare I say, I even got sick of ice cream! Who in their right mind gets sick of ice cream?!
Once the thought of ice cream made my stomach twist in knots, I figured there was only one explanation: the pain meds were going to my head and I was going insane. Yep. That’s it. That has to have been it.
Friends bringing me “get well” baskets containing my favorite candies and snacks didn’t help matters either. I had to sit there in bed, watching as sour patch kids STARED into my soul from their unopened package.
Ugh, and don’t get me started on the swelling. I looked like some sort of weird human-chipmunk hybrid for almost a week… I looked so funny, friends requested that I send a daily selfie, just for the good laugh… Lucky for them, I don’t mind self deprecating humor.
To make a very long story short, recovery was a long process… but the cherry limeade slushies from sonic made it bearable. I didn’t get dry socket, I had enough mac n cheese to last a lifetime, and I watched a LOT of project runway.
But no compensation from the tooth fairy… strange.