It was the start of a new school year. I’d already spent all summer trying to convince my father to buy me a new computer…and not just ANY computer: A MacBook!
My computer at the time, was 8 years old, the speakers didn’t work, the plastic was peeling and it took CENTURIES to load. After being violently dragged away from the Apple store entrance several times, I’d had enough. It was time to take action. I opened up my prehistoric laptop and began to write….
Dear Parents (mostly Dad),
Greetings to whichever parent is reading this. If it is mom, then after reading this, kindly place the sheet back in the envelope and leave it taped to the wall for dad to see while in the bathroom.
If Dad is reading this, then this message is especially for you.
How is your day going? I hope it is going well because if it is, sit back and relax. If not, come back and read this note when you are not so stressed. This letter is in regard to me receiving a new-and-improved MacBook or MacBook Air , because I’m not selfish. I know the value of a dollar, and I know the new MacBooks are a shock to the wallet.
There are several benefits to me owning one of these luxurious pieces of technology such as:
- Studying- Imagine your lovely daughter sitting in a quiet little coffee shop with her portable MacBook Air /New-And-Improved MacBook studying her homework diligently. Now stop imagining it because at the moment, it cannot happen.
- Online shopping- If I have a new computer that means minimal trips to the mall. There is no chance of me getting stabbed, shot, raped, killed, kidnapped, robbed or sprayed if I am online fulfilling all my shopping needs instead of being in-store at The Parks Mall or other public shopping area unsupervised.
- Research- What if my phone is all the way across the room (gasp!) or it suddenly dies and I am waiting for it to turn back on?? How else am I going to look up valuable information like Nicolas Cage’s birthday? (January 7, 1964)… or if Guy Fieri was born with hair like that? (he wasn’t).
- I have a nice smile- If you get me this computer, I will smile a lot, and my smile is life-giving!
Above are just a few of the numerous benefits of purchasing a new MacBook for me. Thank you for taking your time to read this, and for considering this extremely intelligent, unselfish, mature idea of mine.
Faith Elaine Schmoker, Loving daughter