My Super Serious and Important Epiphany (totally and definitely not a joke) is that families are going back to the basics of playing together.
In this time of boredom, Clorox wipes, face masks no one had used until now but were still kept somewhere in the house for some reason, and a mysterious virus are now part of our reality.
Thanks to COVID-19, we, the people have reverted back to the simple things in life: Board games! Now I’m not talking about Tiddlywinks, that’s too simple. I mean the real stuff- Battleship, Connect Four, or even… *Dramatic Music* …Hungry Hungry Hippos.
There are still some of us that remember the time before the “Hazmat Era”. Children danced in the streets. The outdoors were inviting. Dolphins had not yet reached Italy. Businesses offered high fives and handshakes *tears*. But most noticeable of all, we the human race had not entirely devoted ourselves, neigh, pledged our souls to: recreational indoor games.
I guess we can thank the virus or the Good Lord Almighty for this switch-back to families enjoying board games again.
It was I, Keeper of the Knowledge Before the Incident (a large title makes me sound important), who realized a phenomenon! Every man, woman, and child now share this odd desire. “What is that desire”, you ask yourself?
The desire is… wait for it… wait for it… ~suspense~ …to play and enjoy board games (and the like) as a mainstay activity.
What is the profound significance of this revelation? Children used to go outdoors, enjoying the Earth, or indoors, enjoying the deep cyber realms. Adults used to constantly be “busy” with “Adulting”. But no longer.
Today, children are trapped indoors with their parents, who are also trapped within the confines of their home, rather than a warm, cozy cubicle 30 miles away.
This extremely unlikely scenario, also unofficially known as the “Free Saturday Effect”, is now taking hold of families nation-wide.
After recently discovering all of this, I have decided to document the results of this “Free Saturday Effect”.
The figures featured in the right column refer to how many people enjoy playing the games listed. Multiply the number by a thousand to get the results.
As you can see, the results from the “Very Accurate Board Game Survey” speak for themselves. “Uno” is the reigning champion of indoor games with “The Game of Life” tagging along in second. However, “Twister”… ah, poor man… “Twister” hit the bottom of the “Barrel of Monkeys”.
What do these numbers symbolize? Obviously quantities, but what are they representing? These numbers mark a biased opinion.
“So, Mr. Author,” you’re asking yourself, “Why is there biased information in this very not biased, very serious article?” Good question diligent reader. My answer to that is: my sources are anonymous and you’ll need to contact my lawyer if your questions persist.
Now to be fair, I did ask people if they were a board game, what would they be. “Scategories” said Junior Daryn Carruthers, “Because I’m all over the place with my ideas.”
“Battleship,” said Senior Crew Roberts, “Because I like blowing things up.”
So, there you have it. Deep thought time: what bored board game are you?
Oh, one more thing. The first person to comment their favorite board game and like this post gets that game re-listed as the #1 Game. Good luck.